THE BATTLE IS WITHIN

And I hear in the silence a voice most desperate. She’s crying in low muffled tones, saying, “I’m not enough. I’ve failed again. I’m no good. I’ll never succeed.” And it’s as if the world has stopped around her and all that once was beauty and happy has suddenly ended with despair and regret and inability to see the beauty that she is and the beauty that she does and the caring and the selfless sacrifice that happens over and over again through the work of her tiny hands.

As I try to find the words to pull her up and away and to show her how much her work is worth, all my grandiose ideas come to a halt when I hear the words come from my very own lips pointed right at her, “I agree.”

I shudder that I let that slip off this tongue. I have been told over and over again,”Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

And my words burn flesh and pierce heart and I know my Master droops sadness for His beauty.

And there I am hunched in the corner of my mind looking with disdain upon myself.

But my Master is not one who will allow beauty to fade and fear to linger and scorn to rule over His beloved. And he comes to me in His gentle way and takes my tear stained cheeks in His hands. And in my shame I do not look...but I am listening.

“How I have longed to gather you up...with you I am well-pleased...you are my beloved and I am yours...and I have loved you with an everlasting love...”

And His words carry me out of myself and right into Him.

Suddenly the silence has ended and all is joy and happy. And the one who was caught in self, is freed and the trembling turns to dancing. And the words now breathe life and build strong, “I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. I know the plans He has for me...plans for a hope and future. It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and Your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."

And glory turns back to Him.