One Month to Live

I have begun reading the book "One Month to Live" with our church. We are currently on day 5. I am enjoying it very much yet I must confess, I am finding my life very busy and reading a book, even if it is only about 3 pages a day, is the last thing I want to be doing with my One Month Challenge. Yet, I am growing because of it...a little everyday. I've started out pretty slow and rushed. Slow at finding the time to do what the book suggests and rushed when I do break down and do it just to read it quick and get on to the next thing, as usual. But, something changed in me today I think. We had a small group meeting called D-Light tonight. We are all going through the book together (about 8 women) and tonight was our first discussion. It was great to share our frustrations and excitements and to also gauge where each of is, commitment wise to this challenge to live a "no-regrets" life. Some are fully engaged, others are a few days behind already, and I have walked away from D-Light, with a new fervor to do this thing right. We decided that we all will get the most out of our experience if we actually answer the questions in the book by writing them down instead of just thinking about it in our head. There's something about writing it down that makes it official. We also will catch up on the ones we didn't do, for example I have not asked anyone to ask me in 30 days how my life has changed. So, I will be asking a dear friend soon to do that for me. I will be posting my answers and progress on this blog. There's something about a public journal that makes it feel like somebody noticed my life, even if it has not been a hugely significant one thus far. Below are a few of my "catch-up" assignments.

DAY 4
Write a letter or prayer to God, being as honest as you can about your present disappointments and frustrations. Consider how these problems or issues might be preparing you for a more fruitful season.

Dear Father,
I love you most deeply. I can’t remember the last time I sat and wrote to you. It’s been a long time and I’ve been busy I guess. I don’t really know what I’ve been busy doing but I never seem to be able to stop. I know you have called me to a life of ministry for you and I desire deeply to fulfill that. You’ve given me a voice to sing of your glory and to share your story. It seems that all I want to do is that...yet it is always the last thing I get to. Have I misunderstood you? Perhaps I’m just impatient in waiting for your timing. Teach me what to do Lord and I will. If I need to just be still, then slow my legs. If I need to work harder, then strengthen them. Lord, I know my days are numbered and I desire to use them, each one, for you. I often fail and find that I have used up what should have been your time for me. Lord, I am frustrated by so many things...money, work, a dirty house, the feeling of being a pilgrim, not being able to help my parents, not being able to see my sisters, overwork, underpay, weight gain, sleepiness...and on and on. You know my heart and I ask you to help me find contentment in all these things. If you want me to be continually in debt and poor then help me understand that. Is it a lack of faith that brings us to such lows in our finances? or is it the result of our past decisions still and we are paying the consequences? Help me Lord!
I am confident that these things are to prepare me for the next season of my life. You have always pruned me and pruned me and now though there is fruit, I know also that there is still much pruning to be done with me. It will continue to hurt, I will continue to embrace it as much as possible.


DAY 5
Spend time journaling about a specific goal for each of these four areas that you can pursue during the rest of this month. Make sure the goals are practical and measurable.

Spiritual
Seek out God’s heart for prayer in your life. Find out why you have such a hard time with prayer. Do you really believe it works? Why are you so lazy about it at times and at other times so moved to pray? Pray specifically at the Disciple Niche each day and mark each day in the journal there.

Physical
Continue to commit to healthier eating and better exercise (3-5 times/wk). Much of your problem is not preparing food for yourself on days that you are away from home (which seems to be nearly everyday) and then not eating at regular intervals. Begin to take breaks from what you are doing to go eat well so you will not be bombarded by food thoughts or overeat when you do finally let yourself find food. Also, get the sleep your body needs, even if it means coming home after lunch to take a quick nap.

Emotional
Don’t let your mind wander onto those things that get you down. Living in the past or dwelling too much on the future is very dangerous for you. Live in today and do the best you can with all that is going on around you right now. Confess to Cody each time your mind rabbit trails.

Relational
Purposefully try to deepen the friendships you are acquiring. Reach out to people more even if it’s just to say you like them. Write a personal note to each of the ladies in D-Light.