Hardly Grateful

I heard on the radio today that it was a good idea to do something difficult and out of your comfort zone everyday for God; to be intentional like that today. Of course it was just after I said to Wonderful that I really wanted to cancel my lunch appointment with the single woman that was crying at church yesterday cause

I had too much to do and I was just too anxious and uncomfortable with it all today.

Afterall, didn't we do enough yesterday with visiting the lady in jail and comforting the kids who had been abused and are now facing the foster care system, and opening up our home to host 20 people last night for life group? And because of all that I didn't even get to do the one thing I was gonna get accomplished. Of course every excuse I had for him he dismissed easily and I found myself getting angry at him for not letting me get out of this.

But, I knew canceling was the wrong thing to do and that Wonderful was right because being a friend to her this day was the most important thing God had put in front of me.

So, I gathered up my courage and put away my martyr mentality and began to prepare to spoil this young momma with a fabulous lunch of vegetable soup and cute little sandwiches along with an apple upside-down pie. Delicious!!

Then about 9am she called to move it to after lunch at her house (I think she was nervous about it too) and then at 11:30am she called again and canceled due to an appointment she had forgotten about. I must admit I was relieved she had canceled but most importantly I was relieved because I had not. I had fought the urge all morning to ask God to have her cancel. I had fought it and I had won the battle and surrendered to Him and He in turn granted what my heart needed. The selfish me would've succumbed to my selfish ways and justified canceling but the new more obedient me refuses to be lukewarm and walks out everyday in the fear that I may just not be doing enough yet for God.

Though it is hard, I am hardly grateful. That is, that I am grateful for the hard things in my life;the things that let me know that God is using me for more than to be a hermit in my home all day while the kids are at school.

And I am grateful today for those hard things in my life and for a loving Father who sees me and knows that I need to take care of me for just a bit today. So, the soups still on and the cute little sandwiches are waiting, and the apple upside-down pie has only 10 minutes longer to bake. Dinner smells are calling!

COUNTING OUR BLESSINGS THIS WEEK (a compilation from the whole family)
156. Texas Roadhouse
157. Food
158. Getting to be a DOCTOR (I was excepted in the Doctoral program this week!)
159. All the neato things I will learn about Worship
160. Restitution
161. Time to relax
162. Good pleasure
163. Doggies that come back home (Titus was outside for an hour without us knowing)
164. School days off!
165. Ferrets
166. Emily
167. Gamma and Gampa (We visit them in a few short weeks)
168. Florida
169. Cafe Aroma and cute girlies! (Took our two oldest out for coffee and conversation)
170. Momy
171. Oops
172. Concerts (The Afters, Leeland, and Sanctus Real)
173. Momy's and Daddy's (It's been an eye opening few days for our kids to realize they have it pretty good)
174. Children! and Children! and Children! and Children!
175. Life group and rope tiers (The kids took turns tying each other up for entertainment)
176. A reminder that I should not assume I am good soil
177. A divinely canceled lunch date.